I am not unique. There are other white women who are mothers of Black children. Some are adopted, as are mine, others are biological. What we share is that we have an obligation, one that often goes unrecognized and unfulfilled.
We, just like Black women, must prepare our children for the experience of being a person of color in a white man’s world. Recognizing that there is an undeniable, pervasive, institutionalized perception that Black people’s lives are not as valuable has to be the first step in addressing the unique needs of raising children who are not white. To ignore it, to suggest that the best approach is to raise them among white people, so they know how to “blend-in” or to falsely suggest that economic privilege levels the playing field is to profoundly fail as a parent on a fundamental level.
Racist incidents happen all the time in all kinds of situations. As a parent you might think that you can teach your kids how to avoid these incidents but the experience of being white makes it hard to comprehend that unprovoked random acts of racism exist. Black parents know that at any time, even if they are just sitting in Starbucks, walking along the street, having a barbecue or playing in a pool, a white person can put them or their kids in danger by calling the cops.